by Kaylene Isherwood and Ashley Hubbard
The holiday season can be a wonderful time of year, filled with cherished traditions and quality time spent with loved ones. However, the holidays can also be stressful with doctor’s appointments, treatment, side effects, and the emotional strain of cancer. The holiday craze of planning, decorating, and cooking can become exhausting.
While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to celebrating, here are some tips to help you make the most of the holiday season.
1. Be flexible.
Cancer takes time and energy, and it may not be sustainable to take part in every holiday tradition that you’re accustomed to. Reframe your expectations. Modify your usual holiday traditions to meet your needs this year, or create new ones that make the most of your energy.
Everything does not need to be “perfect” in order for you to have a wonderful holiday. To maintain realistic goals, make a list of the holiday activities you want and need. This will help you simplify the holidays by possibly replacing or eliminating physically taxing traditions, having catered meals instead of cooking, or delegating tasks to others.
Think about what the holiday season means to you and your family. Don’t get too wrapped up in what might be missing or what traditions aren’t being kept. Remember what the holidays are truly about, and focus on the present moment.
2. Don’t overcommit yourself.
You may not always feel up for participating in holiday events. Plan activities for when you feel at your best, and avoid overworking your body and mind. Take a break from the festivities when you need to. It’s OK to say no. You shouldn’t feel obligated to take part in every festivity that comes your way.
Saying yes to everything can lead to stress and exhaustion. Be gentle with yourself. Your loved ones will understand if you can’t participate in every holiday activity. Limit yourself to what you can manage and enjoy, and find a balance between activities and rest throughout the holiday season.
3. Communicate with loved ones.
Be very clear about your limits and boundaries. Express how you feel with loved ones, and let them know what you want to do this holiday season and what you need help with. You don’t have to do it all, especially by yourself. If someone offers help, accept it. This will allow you to preserve your energy during the long holiday season.
4. Be with people who lift your spirits.
Spend time with people who make you happier, and not those who drag you down. Don’t feel like you have to spend time around negative relatives just because it’s the holidays. When you have limited time and energy, it’s best to spend it with the people who matter most. Enjoy those special moments with your loved ones, and try not to focus on your cancer.
5. Take a breather.
Slow down. Sometimes the holidays get so busy we forget to relax. Allow yourself to do less than you’re accustomed to during this time of year. Strike a balance between downtime and social time. Set aside days where you don’t have much planned so that you don’t wear yourself out this holiday season. Find what’s meaningful to you. Give yourself plenty of “you” time, and do what makes you happy. Sit by the fire and listen to holiday music or watch a festive movie.
6. Be mindful of your eating habits and keep moving.
It’s easy to overindulge when there are seasonal goodies everywhere you look. Control your portions. Eat balanced meals, and avoid drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. Give your body plenty of the healthy food it needs.
It’s easy to forget about exercise during the holidays, but it’s important to make time for it. Get your loved ones involved. Go on walks with family members, or build a snowman with the kids. Physical activity can help you feel better mentally and physically and give you more energy. Just make sure to talk with your doctor before starting any exercise program.
7. Spread the love.
The past two years have been especially difficult on senior adults who have experienced a heightened sense of loss, isolation, and loneliness. Make sure to especially include these individuals with phone calls, video chats, handwritten letters and cards, and visits. Encourage your children to write letters or draw pictures of what they love most about their grandparents and other loved ones.
It’s common to feel confused, overwhelmed or depressed during the holidays, even without the added burden of cancer. If you find yourself struggling, it’s OK to reach out to your healthcare team for help. During your cancer journey, you and your loved ones have developed strong coping skills, and now is the time to build on them.
COVID-19 is still around and it’s important to take precautions, especially for cancer survivors or any other immunocompromised person. Follow current CDC guidelines if you or someone in your group tests positive or is exposed to someone who is positive.
This article was updated December 2022.