by Lauren Fields
Can someone wake me up from this nightmare please? I just want my life back.
I want health. I want energy.
I want this port out of my chest.
I want my hair, lashes, and brows.
I want to have two breasts.
I want the ability to go out with friends and have a drink or two.
I want to know happiness and stop feeling so blue.
I want to have a normal appetite instead of being nauseous and sick.
I want to be completely done with scans and needle pricks.
I want to make it through a day without having to lie down.
I want to pick out a wedding dress, not another hospital gown.
I want to drive my car again, the ability to just go.
I want the freedom to travel everywhere and not worry about chemo.
I want to not freak out about every pain I feel.
I want to have the chance for my body to completely heal.
I want an average life span longer than 5 years.
I want to stop randomly breaking down in tears.
I want the possibility of my biggest dream coming true.
I want to be a mother, and have a baby or two.
I want my parents to relax and not be so stressed out.
I want them to know they are appreciated and never have a doubt.
I want my man to look at me and know together we’ll grow old.
I want to always be the only hand he holds.
I want so much to have a normal healthy life.
But cancer came in and cut through it like a knife.
It has taken so much from me, sometimes I just can’t deal.
My mind still tries to process the fact that this is real.
But it hasn’t taken everything, in fact there are some things it gave.
A realization of how fragile life is and what it means to be brave.
Lauren Fields is a 31-year-old stage IV metastatic breast cancer survivor with a passion for writing and a desire to show others that life is precious and to not take anything for granted.