Don’t Call Me “Dear”
Janet Dart
by Janet Dart
The light touch on the shoulder.
The averted eyes.
The speaking softly.
Don’t!
Here’s what to say:
Anything else!
Chemo?
And when I nod.
You’ve got this! You’re a fighter. You’re strong. Good for you.
Anything but dear.
I will embrace you if you need to talk
Maybe your mother, your sister, your friend, or, or, or.
I’ll know, because you will have tears in your eyes
and I will comfort you.
I, too, have had friends die from cancer
One in a matter of months, even with chemo.
And one friend who fought with everything,
her Stage IV lung cancer stretching out for ten years.
And one friend who chose not to treat and was gone in nine months.
Juicing. Withering.
I choose to fight.
※ ※ ※
It’s a no-bra day.
Steroids wore off at five
Right in the middle of a writer’s Zoom.
Three time zones. Pacific, Mountain, Central.
Got to go. I’m fading.
Then the bones hurt.
Heating pads, Advil.
Oxy to sleep.
Wake up with an Oxy hangover.
How can someone get hooked on this?
Hop on my Writing in Jammies call.
Three-hour time difference.
8:30 a.m. call for them
5:30 a.m. for me.
I make it by check-in at 7:10 my time.
Fade in half an hour.
My fellow writers hold me together.
Thinking of you.
You okay?
Yes, I’ll be fine on Monday.
Just have to suffer through.
You’re an inspiration.
Me? Just muddling through.
Take the frost cloth off the tomatoes
once it warms up to 50 degrees.
Maybe I can get away without watering them today.
Check the zucchini to help the pollination.
The female blooms withered before the male blooms appeared.
There’s still hope for zucchini if only they will pollinate.
I am the lucky one.
Cancer is gone with surgery.
Chemo is to buy me time.
Ten years I hope. Until I’m 85.
Need to see my grandson grow.
Don’t call me dear.
I cover my bald head with caps handed down from friends
Wrapping me in love.
A friend sends poems.
Look at me with pride.
I believe in science
I’m part of the research.
Doctors will learn from me
And add it to their knowledge.
One day we will beat this.
Janet Dart is retired and living in Bend, Oregon. After publishing a technical manual for Oregon State University Extension, Janet turned to writing her soon-to-be-published memoir, Tender Loving Care: Escaping One of the Most Violent Cults in the World. She is currently writing a memoir about confronting racism while raising her mixed-race son. Janet was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2015, which was cured with a thyroidectomy. In January, 2025, she was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. The cancer was removed with a full hysterectomy. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy and radiation to ensure all the sarcoma cells are obliterated.
