Cancer Found Me and Gave Me Strength
Lynn Aspey
by Lynn H. Aspey, MS
I was looking forward to retirement in two weeks, but after returning home from work I found a breast lump. I was referred to the Stephanie Spielman Breast Cancer Center in Columbus, OH. The wait for results was agonizing, but my focus switched to my upcoming retirement trip to Hawaii with my family.
Finally, retirement day arrived, and the staff implemented an amazing retirement party with a video of staff expressing how they felt working with me, food fit for a queen, and a conference room named in my honor. I went home to work out at our condo pool when I received the dreaded call: “You have small lymphocytic lymphoma.” I was terrified. This is all I thought about during our Hawaii trip, but upon returning home, my oncologist set my “retirement plan” in motion!
I was in a clinical trial for one year and had every side effect. I ended my clinical trial and within two weeks my cancer had returned.
I relapsed and the couch became my best friend; I was depressed. I began a second clinical trial and experienced severe bone and joint pain but completed the year-long clinical trial and achieved remission. To this day, 3.5 years later, I remain in remission.
Cancer gave me strength in diverse ways that I never imagined. Here are just a few of them:
- I endured difficult treatments.
- I looked in the mirror and said daily You got this girl.
- I returned to work to help others. My career in workforce development helped individuals who were out of work gain employment. My focus became the clients and not me.
- I created a positive energizing circle of friends that brought lightness to the darkness of cancer.
- I stood up for myself when needed.
- I looked in the mirror and saw a more confident “me.”
- I volunteered at the James Cancer hospital to bring meaning to my life as well as others.
These changes did not happen overnight. My medical team provided fabulous medical and emotional care. Why do I feel grateful that I have cancer? I had been in a bubble and life seemed to just happen. I never realized that I had internal strength, and this strength helped fight the fear of cancer. I made the choice that cancer would not define me. I wanted to enjoy my life. I needed to define strength and find what it meant to me:
- Strength freed me to choose how I wanted to live.
- Strength allowed me to prioritize what was most important to me – my family.
- Strength gave me courage to let go of unhealthy relationships.
- Strength reminded me that each day was a gift.
- Strength welcomed me to make positive personal changes that aided my emotional healing.
- Strength allowed me to work out daily, which I feel has extended my life through physical wellness.
I am grateful to be an 8-year survivor and fortunate to have had fabulous medical treatment. I no longer feared cancer; it was my “new normal” and I am a happier person.
If my cancer returns, I am stronger and surrounded by medical professionals who will have new arsenals of treatments and clinical trials. Having cancer and finding gratitude has helped me reflect on having a meaningful life and finding light in the darkness of cancer.
Lynn Aspey is an 8-year CLL survivor (chronic lymphocytic leukemia) who has completed two clinical trials, and many “trials and tribulations” during her cancer journey. She is a patient at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center under the care of oncologist Jennifer Woyach, MD, where she also volunteers on the Patient and Family Policy Committee and Hope Foundation. Lynn has a BSHEc and MS in Child Development & Family Living from Ohio University. Now retired, she was Director of Business Relations at Jewish Family Services for several decades. She has been married to her college sweetheart Wayne Aspey for 54 years, and they are the loving parents of Chantelle and Ryan, and the doting grandparents of Charley and Parker.
