Find Your Inner Compass
Carly Fauth
by Carly Fauth
I made a decision. A deeply personal, life-altering choice, one that many people don’t quite know how to talk about or feel is appropriate to bring up. A choice that left me with a tight scar stretching across my chest, extending beneath my armpits. A choice that permanently altered the way I look in my clothes and completely eliminated an entire part of my wardrobe (adios bras!).
Some warned me that I would struggle with moments of grief. Others reassured me that I could “change my mind” and get “new ones” later. After all, aren’t all women supposed to have boobs?
“What does your husband think?” some have whispered, as if this were the most important question. But I didn’t need anyone’s approval. I came to a fork in a terrifying, uncharted road where no roadmap could guide me, and I had to rely on my inner compass.
When I was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer and tested positive for a CHEK2 genetic mutation, I had to make many difficult choices. The biggest one was whether to undergo breast reconstruction after my double mastectomy. I chose not to for several reasons.
First, I wanted to be done. I had already endured so much, and I didn’t want more surgeries or prolonged recoveries. As a fitness instructor and business owner, I couldn’t afford months of downtime. Movement is my passion. It’s what keeps me strong and in control. The idea of being sidelined for weeks wasn’t an option.
I was also angry. Betrayed. My breasts had tried to kill me. I no longer viewed them as a part of me. I was already emotionally detached from them. Choosing to go flat wasn’t just about practicality; it was about reclaiming my body on my own terms.
What I didn’t realize was how rare my choice was. I assumed more women would feel the same way and that I’d hear a chorus of “Me too!” Instead, I got a lot of “Good for you, but I could never do that.”
One night at dinner, a friend told me her breasts made her feel beautiful and confident and that she couldn’t imagine losing them. As I drove home, doubt crept in. Had I made a mistake?
Then came my “a-ha moment.”
Every woman has something, a physical feature, a personality trait, a part of themselves, that they deeply connect with. It’s the thing they fall back on when they need a confidence boost. For my friend, it was her breasts. If someone had told me I had to give up one of my defining features – my strong arms, my powerful legs, my ability to move freely – I would have been devastated.
That’s when I understood.
It wasn’t that I lacked femininity or that I wasn’t “woman enough” without breasts. It was simply that my identity wasn’t tied to them. And that realization gave me peace.
Today, when I look in the mirror, I don’t see what’s missing. I see the woman I have become. A woman who is strong, confident, kind, and unapologetically herself. A woman with short hair, bright eyes, and a smile as big as her abnormally large biceps (which, by the way, I would have a really hard time parting with).
A woman who defines her own femininity, not by societal standards, but by the way she moves through life.
My advice? Trust your inner compass. It will never lead you astray.
Carly Fauth is an ACSM-ACS certified cancer exercise specialist and founder of FitFunCarly, a movement-based program helping cancer patients, survivors, and anyone overcoming obstacles find strength through fitness. She is also the host of Chemo Coffee Talk, a podcast she started from her infusion chair at Dana-Farber, where she continues to share stories of resilience, hope, and the power of movement. She is also the author of Pray for the Bear – An Ordinary Person’s Guide to Unlocking Extraordinary Strength.
