The Gifts of a Caregiver
Lynn and Wayne Aspey
In 2016, I thought I was going to retire, have an exciting life — work out, travel to see family, and just do what I wanted each day. Time would finally be mine. What happened was anything but that. Two weeks before retirement from Jewish Family Services, as Director of Business Relations, I went home from work to work out at our condo pool and found a breast lump. After many ultrasounds and a mammogram, I was diagnosed with small lymphocytic lymphoma (SLL) which progressed to chronic lymphocytic leukemia. To say I was in shock, and to say I handled it well, was an understatement. However, my husband Wayne surrounded me with kind gentle loving care. He became my rock, and my care became his life’s job. His favorite saying was he was on “medical alert.”
Being a caregiver takes an emotional toll; however, I knew my husband would continue his exercises at the gym to give him energy and mental strength, and I knew if he took care of himself, he would be able to endure my journey with cancer by my side.
The caregiver faces immense pain, hardship, and grief while taking care of a loved one. However, there is love and joy in that process, too. The pain a caregiver feels is immense, but caring for their loved one brings a different kind of love, hope, and positive wishing for their loved one.
I never realized how much I would depend on his strength, as mine dissipated. Going through a bone marrow biopsy and other tests, he was glued to me. Laying on the couch with side effects from the immunotherapy drugs he was right there, bringing me pain meds, water, or cooking and cleaning. During infusions, he sat for endless hours trying to get his computer to work so he could work just to be with me. Quite frustrating for him, but he sat there endless hours just to be with me. Finding humor in little things helped ease the difficult aspects of the journey with cancer.
The gift of a caregiver is knowing that they are right there, sitting by your side, holding your hand, or just being in the same room. He did not ask for this job, but my cancer care became his job, and he became CEO of my cancer care company.
His support and strength are what I needed to pull me through the many difficult days of dealing with cancer. Eight years later, he is still my strength. I have learned over the years that cancer has given me the toughness to find my own inner strength and to be my own CEO. However, he is still by my side and is still my rock. Isn’t this what people with cancer want and need?
The CEO can be a friend, your children, partner, or husband, until you have the strength to be your own CEO. I will always be grateful for my wonderful caregiver. He made cancer less scary and together the fight for survival became our battle. Throughout the eight years that I have endured cancer my CEO caregiver is still by my side.
Lynn Aspey is an 8.5-year CLL survivor (chronic lymphocytic leukemia) who has completed two clinical trials, and many “trials and tribulations” during her cancer journey. She is a patient at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center under the care of oncologist Jennifer Woyach, MD, where she also volunteers on the Patient and Family Policy Committee and Hope Foundation. Lynn has a BSHEc and MS in Child Development & Family Living from Ohio University. Now retired, she was Director of Business Relations at Jewish Family Services for several decades. She enjoys baking her legendary holiday cookies and doing Aqua Fit daily! Lynn has been married to her college sweetheart, Wayne Aspey, for 54 years, and they are the loving and proud parents of Chantelle and Ryan, and doting grandparents to Charley and Parker.
